the Future.

BEFORE I EVEN BEGIN: Please note- I'm RANTING. I know you'll be pissed if you read this, but I need to let it out to the unknowing masses of the cyber world. Don't take this TOO personally... It's not the end of the world that I think this, so don't act like it is.

you say that you want us to have a future together. you say that i'm the love of your life and you want us to be together forever. i don't know if i want that any more. you don't respect me. you act as if my curiosity is me trying to spy on you. i never get a straight answer out of you. we never go do things that i want to do. i mean even now, you're somewhere in dallas while i sit at home and miss the party YOUR friend wanted us to go to... and don't even start that "why not just go by yourself" crap, if you had gone, i would have known a grand total of two people. can you blame me for not wanting to go out and party by myself? even when you're with me, creepy old men follow me around and try and  touch me... could you IMAGINE what it would be like if i was there ALONE? look, don't get me wrong i understand that you had some crazy ex's. that doesn't mean you have to act like i'm one of them. learn to apologize and share with me. i have given you EVERYTHING you wanted. i give in to your every whim and fantasy and in return you yell at me, tell me i'm "being hormonal" or, god forbid, "acting like one of the ex's". i'm BEYOND broke, you owe lots of people money including me, and you still spend every dime you make on yourself. oh, and forget if someone who you owe asks for a bit of money back! you act as if it's the end of the world. i pretend not to get upset when you buy the next new toy or want me to help you decide how to spend each bit of money you earn... when you don't have money, i pay for our occasional date with out complaint. once you have cash, you buy me McDonald's and act as if that makes us "square". ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! do you really even care about me? i mean honestly, no bullshiting around, do you actually care about me and want those things you say you do? then, start treating me like you do. if you want me to love you for the rest of our lives, then, please, i beg you, try to start acting more mature. keep me in the loop, share your thoughts and feeling with me, settle your debts, take care of your body and mind, and surprise me with something sweet every once in a while.