ups and downs.

my life has really been taking the roller coaster thing seriously lately.

ups:

-things seem to be better with the two of us. we've talked things out and i think we are a little more clear with each other now. i've been smiling a lot more and my heart skipped a beat when we were dancing...

-i've almost finished my all hallow's eve costume. i've enjoyed working to find all the pieces and customizing them.

-my room's cleaner. i'm not really the one who initiated that, but it is kinda nice to see progress.

-i've gotten a lot of work done for my classes. in the past couple weeks i have managed to get a good amount of my assignments done, although i still feel i could get more done.

downs:

-i'm STILL sick. i've been under the weather for over a month. i seem to get hit with one thing after another lately. i just want my immune system to get in order.

-i still feel that the air isn't completely clear between us. although everything is better and my heart is light and happy, my mind can't help but weigh the rest of me down. my past has made me uneasy about fully trusting people and, although i wish it weren't true, i can't just turn that off now that i have you.

-i feel very alone right now. i'm in such a transitional point in my life and as i'm saying goodbye to so many of my acquaintances, i don't seem to be saying hello to many new ones. i wish it was just that i'm not as busy as i used to be, but i'm also not as outgoing as i used to be.

i wish i was more sure of what my life is and will be, but i'm not. as much as i hope it will clear, i'm pretty sure it will be a long time in the fog before i can see clearly again.

-Capt'n